How to Turn Off a Tantrum
I have yet to meet a parent that has never dealt with a tantrum. This common childhood behavior can sometimes make the big people feel like they are on a tailspin. This article helps put you back in control and helps your child learn to regain control, as well! Happy parenting!
I understand why people would want to "turn off a tantrum." But, I really disagree with this article. When children are that upset and off-track, something is really hurting them inside and they don't know how to tell us. It's not really about the candy or the broken cookie that they are crying about. We all know that. Maybe they got pushed in pre-school that morning. Maybe we were harsh with them a few times this morning because we are stressed. In any case, their tantrum is a plea for a deep connection to remind them that they are safe and well-loved. In our family, we NEVER "give in" to a tantrum by giving the child what they are asking for. But, we do give them loving attention while the tantrums ride out, telling them we love them and understand that they need to get the hard feelings out. We know families with teens who have done this and their teens now willingly come to their parents with their problems and hard feelings. If we give chioldren the message, "I can't deal with your big upsets." when they are 4, how can we expect them to come to us when they are having a hard time when they are fourteen.
I agree with not giving in to the child. There have been many times I have seen parents give in to their child at a grocery store because the child was in a tantrum and the parents were embarrassed. Yes, I would be embarrassed too, but by giving in to the child, you have taught the child to repeat that behavior in the future. No Thank you; I will just deal with being embarrassed. : )
This is exactly the article I needed this afternoon with the daily before-nap tantrum. Thanks!