Single Parent Kids at School
I am a Single Mother by Choice, having used an anonymous sperm donor to conceive my child. He's now in second grade, and I have found this tip to be handy in our situation. Invariably, a classmake will ask my son where his dad is or why he doesn't have a dad. My son is very comfortable with these questions, and generally just tells the other kid that he doesn't have one. The other kid often tells my son that that is impossible, and everyone has a dad somewhere.
I have found it very useful to talk to the teacher beforehand about this and make sure that he/she validates my son's side of this conversation. I don't expect the teacher to explain anything specific about my son's situation, but I want him/her to say something like, "No, Peter is right. He really doesn't have a dad. Most of the time kids have dads somewhere, but there are cases where that's not true."
This validation of my son's situation is crucial!
I'm a single mom raising my son alone as well and I wonder about his future as he notices other kids interacting with their fathers. I am lucky however, to have very positive male role models in his life (pastor, uncle and god father who takes him for hair"cups" as he calls them) and I think he is completely satified and confident with his surroundings for now. Rock on Single Moms!
Hmm. I didn't use a sperm donor, but my son's father has never been involved with us. We differentiate between a father, which everyone has (until humans can be cloned without sperm anyway) and a daddy, which is what a father becomes when he loves that baby, plays with him, cares for the baby, feeds that baby... I offer that language in case you need it when your son starts asking questions about biology. My son started missing a father when he was 4 and we lived in a small town where many of his classmates had very involved fathers. It's a tough line to walk. I don't want him to feel left out, but do want him to see the role of 'daddy' as a very positive thing that he might want to take on one day.