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Hilarious History Jokes

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Hilarious History Jokes

Add a little bit of humor to your history studies with these hilarious history jokes. School aged children and adults will definitely get some laughs as they explore periods in history accented by some funny plays on words that will tickle their funny bones.

Who was the fastest runner in history?

Adam. He was first in the human race.

Why is England the wettest country in the world?

Because the Queen has reigned there for years.

Why does history keep repeating itself?

Because no one was listening the first time.

What was the speed limit in Ancient History?

Forty Niles and hour.

How was the Roman Empire divided up?

With a pair of Caesars.

How do mummies start out their letters?

Tomb it may concern.

What happened at the Boston Tea Party?

I don't know. I wasn't invited.

What did the princess say to the knight?

Don't just stand there! Slay something!

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About Half way.

What did Noah use to illuminate the ark?


Why were the earliest days in history known as the dark ages?

There were a lot of knights.

Why did the mummy go on vacation?

Because he wanted to unwind.

What do knights have written on their headstones when the die?

Rust In Peace.

Where was Henry the V crowned?

On his head.

Why did the knights in shining armor practice a lot?

So they wouldn't get rusty.

Who built the ark?

I have Noah idea.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

All the way at the bottom.

How did the Vikings communicate with each other?

They used Norse Code.

Why is history so sweet and fruity?

Because it is chock full of dates.

Who was the most famous skeleton in history?

Napoleon bone-apart

What is purple and thousands of miles long?

The Grape Wall of China.

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